


Starting Over

by chanwooya (sinoshi)



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Insecurity, M/M, Wedding Planning, Weddings, donghyuk has an unnamed ex, hanbin is married to some girl here, seunghoon's not in this im so sorry, tbh i imagined hayi but you can just imagine anyone, uhh i dont know how to tag, winner members and hanbin and yunhyeong are only mentioned here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 04:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16549139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinoshi/pseuds/chanwooya
Summary: “A Hawaii wedding,” Bobby deadpans, looking at Donghyuk like he’s grown two heads. “You’re kidding, right?”Donghyuk hates Junhwe's ridiculous wedding ideas, and he hates their engagement ring. He doesn't know how to tell Junhwe this.





	Starting Over

**Author's Note:**

> UHHHHH (drops this fic) i haven't been here since (looks at smudged writing on hand) 1...206 AD??? it's two thousand and gayteen now and it's time for me to release my unreleased JunDong fics because why not!
> 
> listen, university was crazy. BROduce 101 was crazy. PD48 was even crazier. lots of things has happened since the last time i dropped an ikon fic. ikon made it big. winner made it big. heck, fuckin nuest made it big. wanna one is about to fucking end their contracts njdnsjfjs YALL ITS SO WILD I POSTED MY LAST FIC BEFORE THEY EVEN EXISTED AND THEY ABOUT TO DISBAND? truly, i need to apologize.
> 
> but here we are jundong nation! uhhh enjoy and uhhhh i hope to see you again soon............. maybe idk

“A Hawaii wedding,” Bobby deadpans, looking at Donghyuk like he’s grown two heads. “You’re kidding, right?”

 

He’s not. Junhwe had proposed the idea after their weekly Sunday dinner date yesterday, and Donghyuk had cringed a little. Their May wedding was supposed to be something bridestory magazine worthy, as in, falling cherry blossoms and all that jazz, not... Hawaiian summer in the middle of spring. Donghyuk’s _dream spring wedding_.

 

“Look,” Bobby starts, leaning forward across the table. “I know you don’t know how to say no to Junhwe. But you’ve got to start putting your foot down, unless you want to end up regretting what is supposed to be the best day of your life.”

 

And Bobby’s right. Donghyuk doesn’t want to regret his wedding party. It’s once in a lifetime. Him and Junhwe had been talking about it since they graduated university, and now that they’re actually planning the thing…

 

He really doesn’t want to hate it.

 

He’s been dreaming of a spring wedding, underneath the cherry blossom trees, for as long as he can remember. He used to scroll through wedding magazines and curator accounts on instagram, and then screenshot and send them to Junhwe. _Our picture-perfect wedding_ , he’d say, and Junhwe would blush at him. In his dream wedding, he and Junhwe would wear crisp, navy blue suits, with matching red ties, looking like Detective Conan or something, and their wedding pictures would look like something out of a fairytale book. Cherry blossoms falling and all that. By a lake or a river where the petals would float on top, and fairy lights, and wooden chairs, and candles straight out of pinterest. The whole pinterest/bridestory spring wedding shebang. He doesn’t care. He likes being basic. It’s his fucking wedding.

 

He doesn’t want a Hawaii wedding by the beach. All that sand and sweat and... The costs to fly everyone out to Hawaii. He shudders thinking about his savings. But it’s also Junhwe’s wedding, which means he can’t exactly push his opinions and wishes on Junhwe either.

 

“The ring mess was already ridiculous, and you haven’t even talked to him about it!” Bobby continues, pointing at Donghyuk’s wedding ring. It’s a really, really ugly ring—there is a big, red heart made of ruby, and he’s not exaggerating when he says the heart ruby is big. It’s  _big_. Jinhwan had given him an awkward smile the first time he showed it to him, and Chanwoo had laughed outright at his face.

 

He hates the fucking ring.

 

“I don’t know how to say it without hurting his feelings,” Donghyuk sighs. “I don’t want him to think I’m just a materialistic bitch. The ring is just impractical. It’s so… Big.”

 

“You’re not being a bitch,” Bobby shakes his head. “Just tell him the ring is impractical.”

 

“I told him before all of this that I just wanted a simple band without any... Diamonds or whatever other stones people put on this. And this is what he gives me.”

 

Bobby snorts. “Dude’s got the memory capacity of a floppy disk.”

 

“I just... Don’t know how to say that I don’t like the ring and the... Hawaii thing.”

 

Donghyuk slumps down in his seat and Bobby sighs. Donghyuk had been stressing about planning his wedding with Junhwe, and Junhwe had wanted ridiculous things. Donghyuk doesn’t know how to turn his ridiculous requests down, mainly because he’s scared Junhwe will start to think that he’s being too... Greedy.

 

But he also doesn’t want to  _hate_  his wedding day. He doesn’t want to hate his wedding ring, or anything that Junhwe chose that he secretly didn’t agree with. Bobby’s right—he should just talk to Junhwe. He’s sure Junhwe will understand.

 

—

 

“Hey, Donghyukie?” Junhwe calls out from his perch on the kitchen counter. Donghyuk looks up from the vegetables he’s cutting. “Do you think we should move our wedding to June? I was talking to Hanbin the other day, and he said the pictures will look better in Hawaii around June.”

 

Donghyuk freezes. From the location to the time—all of Donghyuk’s wishes had been scraped clean off the table, just so they can listen to Junhwe and his friends’ ridiculous requests. It’s starting to sound more like a bachelor party for Junhwe than Junhwe and Donghyuk’s wedding.

 

Bobby, Chanwoo, and Jinhwan had never suggested ridiculous things to him. Even his boss Seungyoon just congratulated him without shoving his wedding opinions down Donghyuk’s throat, despite being married himself. But Junhwe’s friends—Hanbin, Yunhyeong, Minho, and whoever else—had all clawed to have their input be included into their wedding, and Junhwe had been too willing to listen.

 

Donghyuk doesn’t know how to say this, how to say no, so he just shrugs. “You can do whatever.”

 

Junhwe hums, before continuing to text someone. Donghyuk’s hands shake. He feels his control on this wedding slip from his hands.

 

—

 

“Donghyuk,” Chanwoo sits on Donghyuk’s bed. The younger had come over because Donghyuk had sent Jinhwan an alarming text that just reads “i cant do this”, and Jinhwan—who’s currently in Jeju—sent Chanwoo in his place. God knows what Bobby would have done—probably made things worse by cursing Junhwe out.

 

“Chanwoo,” Donghyuk replies, still underneath the blankets. Junhwe’s not home yet—the cafe he runs with Yunhyeong is closing late for the poetry night. Usually, Donghyuk would tag along to watch. But ever since the short conversation with Junhwe about moving the date of their wedding to June, he’d been a little bit more than upset, though it seems like Junhwe hasn’t noticed.

 

“Please just talk to Junhwe,” Chanwoo pats Donghyuk’s arm from on top of the blanket awkwardly. “You both need to sit down and talk about the wedding clearly.”

 

“I can’t,” Donghyuk sighs. “I’m so upset but I don’t want to upset him, too, you know? He’s been so excited and he’s making all these... Ridiculous, terrible plans, and listening to all of his friends’ inputs, and I just...”

 

“Just what?”

 

“I don’t want to shoot down all of his wishes. This is our wedding. I don’t want to be greedy.”

 

Chanwoo sighs. “You can’t stay hung up on that forever, Donghyuk.”

 

He really can’t. His last ex before Junhwe had called him greedy for being too outspoken about what he wants, and it had stuck with him ever since, no matter what Chanwoo, Bobby, and Jinhwan tries to do or say. It had been a bad breakup. Donghyuk gets too scared to say no to Junhwe because of that trauma, doesn’t really ever say what he truly wants more than once, and Junhwe has the memory of a goldfish, so he forgets. He forgets that Donghyuk doesn’t want a big, tacky ring. He forgets that Donghyuk doesn’t want a beach wedding in summer. He forgets that Donghyuk can’t say no.

 

“I’ll talk to him if you won’t,” Chanwoo threatens. “I really will. I’ll tell him you hate the ring, and you hate the wedding plans—“

 

“Don’t,” Donghyuk sighs. “I’ll tell him.”

 

“You really have to. You said this to Bobby hyung the other day and you still haven’t talked about anything with Junhwe at all. I know because Junhwe’s still listening to Hanbin, and he’s suggesting you guys go to Las Vegas for your honeymoon. Junhwe’s really thinking about it now.”

 

Donghyuk cringes. He wanted a simple honeymoon at Jeju-do—maybe Okinawa at the farthest. He really doesn’t want to spend too much money on the wedding. They can’t afford it. Junhwe’s running a cafe and Donghyuk’s just a writer for a magazine that’s about to go under soon (print is dying, no matter what Seungyoon says. Everyone is going digital now). How will they possibly afford an American wedding?

 

“See? You hate it. I know you wanted a beach honeymoon,” Chanwoo sighs. “You really just need to talk to him soon. He’ll understand.”

 

—

 

Their Sunday dinner date rolls around, and this time, they’re at Junhwe’s favorite pancake diner, the one he took Donghyuk to on their 3rd date. The owner, Kim Jinwoo, had quickly become familiar with them as they kept going back on dates for his amazing pancakes. Donghyuk loves the place. If he could have his way, he’d probably had proposed to Junhwe here. But alas, Junhwe went with a paragliding proposal—which was really cute—but meant nothing to Donghyuk because neither of them enjoys paragliding.

 

Donghyuk looks around and bites his lips. He should really bring up their wedding plans. His ring is heavy on his finger, and he hates looking at his left hand because he hates the ring. Junhwe hasn’t said anything all day, not even about the Las Vegas honeymoon he knows Junhwe’s been thinking about because of Hanbin, likely noticing Donghyuk’s recent dip in mood.

 

Jinwoo brings over their pancake and Junhwe starts digging in, so Donghyuk doesn’t say anything. It isn’t until they’re finished eating and Junhwe’s leaning back in his seat that Donghyuk gathers up the courage to say something.

 

“Junhwe,” he starts, fiddling with the ring on his hand. “Can I tell you something?”

 

“Sure,” Junhwe raises an eyebrow. “What is it?”

 

Donghyuk bites his lips. “Promise you won’t be mad at me?”

 

“This has anything to do with your bad mood lately?” Junhwe asks, eyebrows raised in concern. “You can tell me anything.”

 

Donghyuk takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I... Hate the ring.”

 

The table goes quiet. Donghyuk looks up at Junhwe, who’s got a shocked look on his face. Donghyuk feels tears well up in his eyes. This is it. He’s fucked up. He should’ve sucked it up and just pretended to like the ring. He’s so greedy and materialistic and—

 

“Donghyuk, are you okay?” Junhwe’s voice breaks the silence, his hands reaching out from across the table. “I’m sorry.”

 

“No,  _I’m_  sorry!” Donghyuk’s voice is shaky, and he frowns. “I shouldn’t have said that, I—“

 

“No, no! I’m glad you’re being honest with me!” Junhwe looks a little shocked, but Donghyuk’s not sure if it’s because Donghyuk had just dropped a big bomb or because Donghyuk’s crying. Maybe a combination of both. “I just—I got the ring because I thought you wanted something unique and Hanbin said this one looked—“

 

“No, you idiot—“ Donghyuk sobs out, grabbing Junhwe’s hand. “I would have been okay with a cheap ring that has nothing on it.”

 

Junhwe looks genuinely panicked now, because Jinwoo’s staring them down from where he’s standing behind the counter.

 

“Donghyukie! It’s fine, we can get a new ring. I can return it, we can go look at rings together.”

 

Donghyuk sobs even louder. “Okay. Okay.”

 

“Okay? Okay. Oh, thank God, I thought you wanted to break up with me or something,” Junhwe sighs in relief.

 

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuk says, voice watery, but Junhwe shakes his head.

 

“No, I’m the one who should be saying that. I know you don’t wear the ring when you’re not out with our friends, I should have figured.”

 

That only made Donghyuk feel guiltier.

 

“Oh God,” Donghyuk hiccups, “You knew. I’m so sorry.”

 

“No! It’s fine! I also hate it. I should have never listened to Hanbin,” Junhwe frowns. “He’s an idiot. I should have trusted my instincts.”

 

They calm down. Jinwoo goes back to wiping down the counter. Donghyuk thinks about admitting his hatred of the Hawaii wedding idea, but looking at Junhwe’s exhausted face, he decides he’ll keep it for another day.

 

He already feels sorry for admitting that he doesn’t like their engagement ring, no matter what Junhwe says.

 

—

 

They return the ring on Wednesday and choose a new one. It’s a simple silver band, their initials engraved inside, and it’s more practical now and they both wear it everywhere they go. Donghyuk proudly shows it off to Bobby, Chanwoo, and Jinhwan and they give him a proud smile. Until Jinhwan asks the important question.

 

“And the wedding?” Right. Donghyuk hadn’t thought of bringing that up again after Sunday, too caught up in getting new rings and churning out the press conference report of Mnet’s new survival show for Seungyoon. Now that that’s over and done with, the thoughts of Hawaii in June creep up on him again. Thoughts pop up in his head. His savings... His spring wedding... Junhwe’s panicked face when Donghyuk had admitted he hated their engagement ring.

 

He doesn’t think he can put Junhwe through that again, but at the same time, Hawaii. It’s his fucking wedding, too, not just Junhwe’s. But no matter how much he wants to be pissed at Junhwe, he can’t.

 

“Right,” Donghyuk nods. “I don’t think I can tell him I hate the idea of a summer wedding.”

 

Jinhwan frowns. Chanwoo gives him a strange look and Bobby doesn’t say anything, but their disappointment is apparent. “Right. So, you’re going through with it.”

 

“How am I going to tell him that I hate the concept of our whole wedding?” Donghyuk frowns. “He’s going to be so heartbroken. He worked so hard trying to plan it and if I say I hate it, then all his plans...”

 

“Look, nothing’s been set in stone yet, right?” Bobby cuts in, giving Donghyuk an unimpressed look. “The most you’ll do is hurt Hanbin’s feelings. He practically planned the whole thing—from your proposal to your wedding. Junhwe doesn’t know anything, he just goes along because he thinks Hanbin knows better about this stuff. Because he thinks Hanbin knows better about you.”

 

Right. Hanbin’s a married heterosexual. That’s why everything Junhwe’s been suggesting and doing so far had been so... Heterosexual.

 

Hanbin means well. He’s the one who got them together, after all—after Donghyuk’s nasty breakup, he had introduced him to Junhwe, who had been nice and understanding of Donghyuk’s situation. They started living together and Junhwe even kept their living room and kitchen clean, which nobody—not even Jinhwan when they lived together—had done for him. Hanbin had played a huge part in their relationship, helping Junhwe figure out Donghyuk’s likes and dislikes as a person who’d known Donghyuk longer.

 

But that doesn’t mean he can go ahead and plan their important events for them. Donghyuk doesn’t even _like_ half the shit Hanbin’s suggested so far.

 

“So just tell Junhwe what you had in mind and plan it together this time. Don’t let Hanbin butt in,” Chanwoo says, and Donghyuk goes home determined.

 

—

 

So Donghyuk sits Junhwe down on Saturday evening. Junhwe had just come home from the cafe and they haven’t even had dinner yet—Donghyuk needs to get this out while he still has the courage to.

 

“I need to tell you something,” Donghyuk starts off carefully. Junhwe nods.

 

“Is this about your job?” Junhwe asks, concerned expression on his face. He’d known that Donghyuk’s been on the edge of unemployment ever since the magazine he’s working for is going under. Seungyoon doesn’t like to admit it, but he and Taehyun had been firing employees left and right. Donghyuk suspects he’d be one of the last ones fired, but he and Junhwe knows it’s imminent by now. Donghyuk would start job hunting, but he doesn’t really want to hurt Seungyoon’s feelings.

 

“No,” Donghyuk shakes his head. “It’s... About our wedding, actually.”

 

Donghyuk gauges Junhwe’s expression. Junhwe just nods, signaling for him to go ahead, so he does.

 

“Right. Okay,” Donghyuk takes a deep breath. “I don’t know how to say this. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

 

“Are you breaking up with me?!” Junhwe suddenly asks, eyes and mouth wide open. Donghyuk reacts by panicking even more than Junhwe is.

 

“No! Of course not! I just—“ Donghyuk waves his hands wildly in front of his face. “I want to tell you I don’t want to get married in Hawaii!”

 

“Oh,” Junhwe sighs in relief. “Oh, thank God. Donghyuk, you have no idea how relieved I am right now.”

 

“I’m not gonna break up with you,” Donghyuk sighs as well. “I love you too much.”

 

“I love you too,” Junhwe smiles. “But thank God. I really thought you were about to break up with me these past few weeks. Even after we resolved the ring thing, you were still acting weird and Chanwoo didn’t want to talk to me so I thought...”

 

He trails off. Donghyuk bites his lips.

 

“Can we plan this together? Just the two of us? From the start?” Donghyuk’s small voice breaks the silence. Junhwe nods.

 

“Of course. I just—it’s so stressful and you weren’t saying anything except that you wanted it to be a spring wedding, right? So Hanbin’s been helping me but now it feels like all your ideas and wishes aren’t even there anymore but I wasn’t sure if I could start over and Hanbin just means well. You know that, right?”

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been planning with you,” Donghyuk looks down, fidgeting with his ring. “I just didn’t know how to tell you what I wanted. I didn’t want to be greedy. I was so scared of even telling you that I hated the ring. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything and made you do it all by yourself.”

 

“I didn’t want to burden you with the plans, either. It’s my fault, too. I’m sorry,” Junhwe sighs. “Let’s start over?”

 

“Let’s start over.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> you made it to the end? oh thank god i thought youd stop after the first paragraph. i havent written anything good since (squints at calendar) 1331?
> 
> this was actually part of a bigger universe i wrote last year but never got to finish lol i have so many abandoned WIPs gathering dust so thank you,,,,,,, for reading this dusty ass fic


End file.
